I always have my best thoughts in the shower. I just had a revelation. Most people become obsessed with their physical bodies and other’s. What they look like, how much they weigh, how tall they are, what they wear, how they adorn themselves; but, think about this, have you ever gone to a wake, a memorial, a viewing after someone has died? Where they have an open casket? And you walk up to it and peer in? And you see what looks like the person you knew? And then did you ever think that what is lying there in front of you isn’t the person you knew? That that person is gone? That the body that is left behind isn’t even the person you knew in life? Isn’t even the person you knew in life!!! What does that even mean?! I guess that means that whatever you believe in a soul, spirit, energy, whatever it is that animates these fleshy, smelly cages is REALLY who we are! Of course I’ve thought about this before, but for some reason it hit an even higher, deeper meaning today.
When my brother died I was the only one that didn’t go into the room to see “him” in the coffin. Partly because he had died from a head injury and I knew that he wouldn’t look like himself, but also because I felt like that wasn’t even him. Isn’t that just insane? What I saw and felt and listened to as my brother wasn’t him anymore. To me that just helps prove, if only to myself; someone with very little religious background, that there is something beyond this.

Another thing for me that makes me think that, is from time to time I will see myself in the mirror and it’s like I’m looking at a stranger. I have truly felt that the person I see isn’t who I am. After I got out of the shower and was getting dressed I stood in front of the mirror and said it out loud. “This is not who I am.” It was so glorifying, so freeing! For someone who has self-image issues, like most of us do, to really look at this body in the mirror and say it. What I have moving this hefty, meaty, leaky, smelly chuck of meat around is a million times more glorious! 🙂

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