Tag Archive: body


Two hundred and thirty seven

Nothing says Autumn like jeans, a long sleeve shirt, trees changing colors, Fall wreaths and some weird lady taking photos of her reflection in the glass storm door. Love this shot. I have been on a weight loss journey since 2005. I have hit some of my goals and still haven’t gotten to the main original one. I have gone up and down, lost my way and found it again countless times. At this point in time and again today I am happy with myself. Do I still have a fat rolling stomach? Yep. Am I still “obese” according to doctors? Sure am. Do I give two sh*ts? Nope. I know I have worked hard and continue to work hard. One day I will hit my personal goal, not some unrealistic goal set by a society obsessed with body image. Wow I just went on a rant, anyhoo, I like this photo mainly because I like the way I look in it. I can be proud. Plus it does capture a glorious October day in Suffolk, VA while visiting my in-laws.

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“Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.” ~Carol Bishop Hipps

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Shorts season starts early in Central Texas. By May it starts feeling like summer and the heat doesn’t leave until October. I was sitting at the computer with my legs up on my husband’s computer chair. The sun light was coming in from the window and creating a lovely effect. I grabbed my camera and took a few shots using available light. Making available indoor light photos black and white always yields a better result. I like the somewhat abstractness of this shot, the depth of field and the lighting.

 “A woman is as young as her knees.” ~Mary Quant

This was my husband and I’s 16 year anniversary together. We started dating on April 14, 1996; I was 14 and he was 15. We never split up and we ended up married with two children. I rarely ever get dressed up, but being a special occasion it called for such. We went to dinner with the kids and had a lovely time. Afterwards, before I took off all this mess, I took this photo. My legs are one of the few things on my body that I like most of the time. They look pretty good here too. I’m happy with this photo, although the focus is a bit off.

 “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.”  ~Laurence J. Peter

Sixty

It was just beginning to get really cold here in Central Texas. I had gotten this blanket out to sleep with. It was hand-made by someone in my family. I can’t remember who, I think my Aunt. It’s all shades of purple and I’ve had it since I was a little girl. I had started to get tired of taking photos of my face, so I started pointing the camera in different places. I really like how the composition turned out in this shot. Not sure how I feel about the editing, the colors or the black frame. It could be different and perhaps better, but when you are trying to pump out a photo a day they all can’t be masterpieces. Regardless I enjoy this one.

 

“You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.” ~Martha Graham

Three

I hate my stomach. It has been rather large for all of my life. I have never completely been rid of it. Now after two children, years of bad eating habits and a loathing of sit-ups, it really bothers me. So on day three I decided to tackle this beast and take some photos of it. I wanted to create a sort of abstract body scape that I had seen many times before usually of hard bodied, thin, hot women.  So here it is, stretch marks and pudge galore. I do think the photo came out nice, it is rather lovely, but it didn’t make me like my belly any more that I did before. Below are two of the rejects that didn’t make the cut.

“Some people have a foolish way of not minding, or pretending not to mind, what they eat.  For my part, I mind my belly very studiously, and very carefully; for I look upon it, that he who does not mind his belly will hardly mind anything else.”  ~Samuel Johnson

I posted the following on October 1st on Facebook, with many encouraging comments from family and friends in response:

“I am so tired of watching what I eat, knowing the calorie count for everything, not being able to eat what I want or how much. I am tired of following the rules, the exercise, the running on the treadmills, which I am terrified of and almost have an anxiety attack every time I get on one, for a slow, slow, slow weight loss. Then have a bad couple weeks or a bad month and all of a sudden I’m 8 pounds heavier. I’m tired of feeling guilty about eating yummy things. I’m sick of getting on the scale everyday. I’m tired of it all. I’m sick of this country being OBSESSED with weight and physical appearance. “She’s too skinny or she’s too fat.” Whatever! I can’t stand it anymore. Screw this, screw being a woman, screw this screwed up view of life. It doesn’t matter anyhow. I’m fat, I always have been fat and I don’t see any end in sight. My genetic makeup didn’t roll the dice for a small bone structure or a flat stomach. I want to be happy about myself, I don’t want to fret over it anymore. So I’m done son! F it!”

After having this breakdown I decided to start the ever popular 365 project, photographing yourself everyday for a year. Mostly as a form of therapy to help me cope with some of my body image issues. I had previously done a similar project from August 2008 through December 2010 which I dubbed A Photo a Day. It sometimes included self portraits, but was really about trying to take the best photo I could, at least one everyday. So here I go starting this massive endeavor to cope with my expanding waistline and growing number on the scale and trying to say it’s ok, whatever.